Knowing how to build self esteem is important because how we feel about ourselves affects everything we do. A healthy value of self-worth is like a mental shield to handle the bumps, setbacks, and challenges of life with confidence and strength.
3 Techniques how to build self esteem
When we boost self esteem to a more realistic level, it not only makes us more resilient but is also empowers us to explore and uncover what more we are capable of. So, let’s take a look at 3 techniques (suggested by psychotherapists) to get started on the right foot.
1. Taking the right action
A very common technique used in therapy is “act as if”.
It’s not about lying or trying to trick yourself, but about getting over imagined or perceived threats, fears… by giving ourself a set of action steps that usually work. Like, to counter negative thoughts, to build self-esteem and act more confidently, ask “What would a confident person do right now.”
This does 3 things –
- It gives us a set of action steps that usually work. So, the thing becomes more definite, more tangible than a vague idea about what to do.
- It shifts our focus to taking action leaving us with lesser mental bandwidth to think about how we are feeling.
- After taking action despite the fears and doubts, as it’s usually worse in our mind than in reality… it usually feels “yeah, it wasn’t that bad”. And the proof that we can do it, helps us think better of our abilities, respect our capabilities more and so it builds up our value of self-worth to a more realistic level.
Having a strategy to challenge our negative thoughts and beliefs with obvious proofs is the key to build self esteem.
2. The 'who' matters
To maintain this progress, it’s important to create the right kind of environment that supports and nurtures it.
Every new habit… because developing a new approach to life, learning how to build self esteem, is ultimately a habit if we want to make it a natural part of our personality. And every new habit thrives better in an environment optimized for it.
If people around us have a more complaining, whining attitude to life, we will eventually pick up on that subconsciously. This is because of what’s called the Asch paradigm – our tendency to doubt our own knowledge when it is contradicted by the majority of the group members.
Every therapist, every person who is comfortable with themself, say it’s important to curate who we surround ourselves with. Because that has a huge effect on what kind of feedback we get for our efforts and how we think in general.
So, try connecting more with people, whether online or offline, who have the kind of attitude you admire, the kind of approach you want to make a natural part of your life.
For the third technique, which is also one of the most powerful and at the core of almost all Cognitive Behaviour Therapy approaches, watch the video up top.
Hope you found this helpful.
