“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”
– Maya Angelou
What is self care? For many of us, it’s luxury of time and resources. But that’s just the picture that the dog-eared over-used term has painted in our mind.
Because self-care really is showing up for our mind, body, and soul so that we are better able to take care of others, be productive at work, and enjoy life as it’s meant to be.
LIST OF CONTENTS
- What is self-care really
- Why self-care is important
- An effective self-care plan
- What are the 8 areas of self-care
- Examples of self-care
- Self-care quotes
- The takeaway
How do you define self-care – what is self-care really
Effective self-care is like regular maintenance of a car by its loving owner. Treat your mind, heart, body like that, like a prized car. Because it’s cars like those that make it to the vintage category in superb condition.
The work we do, our equation with our family & friends, our physical-psychological -emotional needs, and our connection with our source of hope….when we treat all of these with equal importance, that’s when we truly take care of ourselves.
According to well-known sources, here’s what does self care mean:
- “It’s the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness.” – Oxford dictionary
- “Avoiding all threats and issues that may make a person face irritable and uncomfortable circumstances.” – Psychology Dictionary
- “Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.” – Psych Central
Why self care is important
When you include self-care in your life meaningfully, it helps you approach everything with more clarity and be more productive. Basically, become resilient to life’s challenges as and when they come.
According to Southern New Hampshire University’s Dr. Matthew Glowiak, “Engaging in a self-care routine has been clinically proven to reduce or eliminate anxiety and depression, reduce stress, improve concentration, minimize frustration and anger, increase happiness, improve energy, and more.”
So if it’s that important, why can’t we seem to make time for it? Well mostly,
- it’s a busy schedule that doesn’t leave time even to breathe, or
- it would seem selfish when so many people depend on us.
But that’s just our compassion leaving us out of its zone, our quest to find out how far we can push ourselves before things start coming off at the seams. It’s basically our way of saying that self-care is only for stress-relief.
But as you know by now, it’s that and way more.
So, how can I practice self-care
Here’s what an effective self-care plan should include.
1. Social
Let’s begin with an easy one and we’ll keep building on that. All humans are social beings and whether extroverted or introverted, we do like some alone time. But no one likes to be lonely. Feeling connected is one of our basic needs and it’s about doing things with people who make us feel good.
Connect with others. Go to a fitness or hobby class, or join a group. Or, spend meaningful time with family and friends who are supportive, respectful, and positive in their approach to you.
The idea is to spend time with people who share your interest. Because social interaction helps our brain to move from focus mode to diffuse mode, relaxes it enough to make connection between unrelated concepts, and so come up with creative solutions. So basically, it diffuses a situation which could potentially be stressful later on.
Physical
Next is the more popular side of self-care where we take care of your body inside and out, detox, relax, soothe, tune-up and everything else to feel an immediate difference. Life’s so hectic that we have become tuned for instant results. And so no wonder this is the most popular part of self-care.
But that doesn’t make it any less important because our body is the only tool we have that makes all other types of self-care even possible. There’s a reason why the mind-body-soul connection is such an important part of everything we do.
Go for a walk, opt for the stairs instead of the elevator, go for a run, to the gym, or do yoga, whatever gets you moving. We are built for movement and that’s what increases the feel-good chemical in our brain. Do whatever makes you feel de-stressed, energized because it’s all about managing stress and its side effects on our body.
3. Mental
It involves doing anything that makes you happy, takes you into a different zone, gives those overworked parts of your brain some rest that we are constantly using while in the go-go-go mode.
If you feel you don’t have time for that or don’t want to add another thing to your to-do list, choose the least hassled part of your day. Now tune out everything and do that single task with full awareness. Stay aware of every movement your body makes for that action. Consciously note every detail you see. What do you hear, smell, feel with your skin?
If you do that, then congratulations! You practiced mindfulness for a whole 5 minutes. And mindfulness, as you may already know, is the easier version of meditation. So, you helped your mind relax, reboot, and refocus with fresh new energy.
When you sleep, make it count because it makes a huge difference in our mood and ability to focus on any task.
4. Reconnecting
Connect with your source of hope and guidance. Mindfulness exercises work beautifully whether you are a believer or not in a higher power. That’s why instead of calling this spiritual self-care, I like to call it reconnecting self-care.
It’s basically about getting in touch with your values – what guides your thoughts and actions. If you are a believer, make time for spiritual introspection.
If not, connect with nature. Appreciate the beauty around you. Because according to studies done at the Department of psychology, Lewis-Clark State College, engaging with natural beauty improved gratitude and life satisfaction. Basically, it puts us in a zone where we tend to look at things from a point that gives us a clearer picture, a better understanding of what’s happening, and where we need to be.
This introspection and understanding becomes the source of calm, stability, and balance in our life.
5. Emotional
Emotional resilience, the capacity to bounce back from setbacks and getting back to life effectively comes with practice. To be truly there for others and to give your best at work, it’s important to be in a healthy emotional space.
Let yourself experience the whole range of human emotions, but know when to stop and how to move on. That’s how we become more emotionally resilient.
Let your head have a say even when it’s a question of the heart. It will help you better manage your emotions, develop a more rational outlook, and improve patience. All these make it an invaluable life skill that builds confidence.
- Say yes and no for the right reasons, the ones you are convinced of to keep complications in life to a minimum.
- Set time aside to jot down at least one thing you are grateful for each day to remind yourself of the good things in your life. This will also help understand what might be bothering you – consciously taking note of your own feelings & thoughts.
- Healthy boundaries set clear ground rules on what we are comfortable with, how much we are ready to invest emotionally. And so essentially, they create a safe space where we make decisions without hurting others or getting manipulated. They keep those situations to a minimum that could become tense or stressful.
What are the 8 areas of self-care
According to Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, the 8 dimensions of wellness are
- Physical
- Emotional
- Intellectual
- Spiritual
- Environmental
- Social
- Occupational
- Financial
So whatever you do to make yourself more comfortable, feel good in any of these areas, it counts as an act of self-care. Whether you do something to save more money to feel financially secure, or volunteer for a cause that makes you feel a warm glow in your heart, it all adds to the overall feeling of wellbeing.
Self-care isn’t just about taking care of our body or doing things for stress relief. It’s about touching all these different areas that combine together to make life feel fulfilling, complete.
What are examples of self-care
As self-care is all about you, it looks different for every person. However, here are a few examples to give you an idea of how it looks in real life.
- Invest and cut back on unnecessary purchases for a better financial peace of mind.
- Learn something new to help you get closer to your dream job.
- Volunteer or help someone in need. Helping others helps us feel good.
- Control your social media feed by following or searching for what motivates you. Social media AI curates what you see based on what you show your interest in.
- Work on getting quality sleep so that you wake up feeling fully rested.
- Declutter your room.
- Enjoy the sunshine or lie down and watch the night sky.
- Spend time in nature. Enjoy the beauty around you and let your mind wander.
- Talk to someone (even if it means someone professional). Emotions bottled up have a tendency to come out later more forcefully.
- Put an effort to stay in touch with the people who make you feel good.
Self-care quotes
- “Self-care is so much more than a beauty regimen or an external thing you do. It has to start within your heart to know what you need to navigate your life.” – Carrie-Ann Moss
- “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” –Anne Lamott
“Life is pure adventure, and the sooner we realize that, the quicker we will be able to treat life as art.”
– Maya Angelou
- “It is so important to take time for yourself and find clarity. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.” –Diane Von Furstenberg
- “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” – Maya Angelou
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. ”
– Thich Nhat Hanh
- “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” – Maya Angelou
- “Self-care is not a waste of time; self-care makes your use of time more sustainable.” –Jackie Viramontez
“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”
– Maya Angelou
The Takeaway
Working on getting more emotionally resilient, maintaining healthy boundaries, taking time for introspection, and realigning your life to your changing likes, preferences, needs – those are the cornerstones of true self-care. They are habits that up your chances of living a well-rounded meaningful life.
It all begins with valuing yourself enough to take care of your mind, body, and soul. Life isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. And even if it sometimes feels selfish when there’s so much to do, so many duties and responsibilities…effective self-care keeps you going. It’s a non-negotiable if you want to enjoy and give your best at everything you do.
Which area of self-care would you benefit most from right now? Let’s take this conversation to the comments below.
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