“It’s not the load that breaks you down. It’s the way you carry it.” – Lou Holtz
Does the thought of holidays leave you feeling joyful or stressed out with visions of dinner with meddling relatives and overcrowded malls?
With the holiday season beginning with Halloween & continuing through the New Year celebrations, this time of joy & celebrations comes with it’s own blend of worries. Holiday stress is real whether you feel overcome by loneliness, overwhelmed by family reunions, or pressured into spending more than your means.
What causes holiday stress?
Holiday stress is part of the festive season joy & celebrations package whether you believe in full on celebrations or not. People can broadly be grouped in 3 categories during this time –
1. The avid followers:
Hosting the perfect family gathering, measuring up to those we look up to, & doing everything we think is expected from us during the festive season can leave you feeling frazzled & stressed out. Gifting tends to add more to all this pressure.
Extended family gathering together can bring up anxiety about possible friction. Even close-knit families can sometimes make you feel a
2. Creating family memories:
The pressure of creating perfect holiday memories for our family is a big source of holiday stress. Trying to pack in too many activities & doing it all to make each moment count can leave you feeling hassled & burnt out. It becomes a chore instead of memories you cherish.
3. Alone by choice or chance:
Those of us who are left alone & rely on friends for support, the holiday season can be tough with happy family gatherings as far as the eye can see. You might not even be the celebratory kind but all this merriment & enthusiasm around can make you start feeling isolated & lonely.
Friends & colleagues discussing their plans can make you feel more homesick when having to stay away from family. Also, staying indoors more because of the cold weather & getting limited sunlight can trigger seasonal affective disorder in many people making your mood turn blue.
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1. Get organized:
Write down all the things that you have to buy, to do, declutter & organize, things you missed out last time – generally the stuff that stresses you out. It will give you a fair idea how much you can really fit into the time available.
If you’re thinking, “What! I can’t get it all done!” then pick what you will be able to do realistically priority wise. Like, if doing a complete declutter doesn’t look practical right now, just deal with the visual clutter. Start blocking out time backwards leaving a week before the D-day. Add some extra time to for completing each task to adjust any last minute emergencies.
Batch tasks under visiting, shopping, baking, cleaning, decorating & so on. Alternate the more physically taxing ones with something social. Or simply schedule some me-time or date night between groups of tasks for a change of pace.
Make a list of people you want to buy for & a rough idea what you would like for them & how much you can spend on each. Plan for help from family or friends for prep & cleanup after a party.
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2. What about gifts:
If you’re thinking, ‘I can’t afford this’ then you probably aren’t alone. Gifting can make us overspend & even plunhe into debt adding to the holiday stress. When finances are tight (and even when it’s not), it helps to come up with gifting ideas that focuses on the relationship rather on the item like a photo collage for your parents.
But if you feel you don’t have time to put in that much effort or can’t come up with many ideas, there’s always the internet. Research well in advance. I bookmark sites that give a good discount off & on throughout the year & have good quality products.
If you prefer buying from stores, here’s some ideas to make it less stressful for you. If you did the planning part in tip #1, you’ll have a clear idea of what to buy & how much to spend.
Take a day off. Wear comfortable clothes & shoes. Start early when the salespeople are helpful & there are more items to choose from. If you like something, get a few of them in different variety. You can gift them to friends & family who don’t know each other.
Take a short water break or for snacking every couple of hours. Drop shopping bags off in your car every time they turn heavy.
3. Deal with too much or too less family time:
When planning family gatherings or committing to one, be mindful of the timeframe you promise. Choose one that makes the occasion feel special without making you feel overwhelmed. Use all the previous holiday gatherings as your reference to come up with a comfortable number.
Even with a loving close-knit family, all the bonding & emotions can drain you out after a while. Get clear about why this season is significant for you. It will make you grateful for having a family to share it with despite their imperfections.
Schedule visiting difficult relatives to a minimum if they can’t be totally avoided. But be clear about your boundaries & how much you are willing to take.
If you end up alone during the holidays, volunteer to help the less fortunate. Besides being a very rewarding use of your time, it will help bring things back in perspective for you.
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4. Update home base to minimize holiday stress:
Winter’s a time for
Remove clutter from your home. Let air & light into the corners. Open up those windows for a few minutes to freshen up indoor air. All this will go a long way in keeping your mood up & stress down.
With all the things that need to be done, putting together a healthy meal that everyone would enjoy becomes a chore. A meal plan will help you get prep work done for the week & put dinner on the table faster with less hassle. It also means you won’t have to order takeout costing extra bucks after returning exhausted from shopping.
Include olive oil, flax seeds, vegetables, fruits, fish, organic chicken, nuts, seeds, & legumes in your menu to stay happy, energized, & focused.
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5. Prepare mind, body & soul:
Even if it’s brisk walking or modulated breathing 10 minutes a day, get into an exercise routine. Breathing exercises will clear your mind & reduce stress. Research shows exercise improves stress-relieving endorphins in our body.
So physical activity is good for your mood, energy level, confusion, anger, & tension. You’ll be better able to arrange rushing thoughts, make plans & tackle those bazillion tasks with efficiency.
When things are in full swing, spend 15 minutes every day to do something that refreshes you. Don’t skip on your sleep. Lack of sleep isn’t good for our mood, energy, or health. Snack on healthy food before going to parties so you won’t binge on sweets & other weight-attracting items on the menu.
Sip on half a glass of water between drinks to limit your drinks & stay hydrated. No killer hangover next morning!
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6. Invite yourself:
Festive season is meant for having fun. Remember how it felt as a kid? More often than not, we forget to schedule ourselves to enjoy when planning celebrations. Just because you have responsibilities doesn’t mean you stop enjoying yourself. You deserve it all the more because of the hard work you put in to make it special for everyone.
People are there to enjoy your company. If they appreciate your arrangements, that’s just a bonus. When planning, plan your parties & gatherings in a way that you have time to enjoy with others.
For example, keep some finger snacks & desserts on the menu that don’t need assembling during the party so you have time to relax & mingle with the guests.
It’s wonderful that you can have the whole situation under control during the holidays but enjoying your own party is important too. It’ll reduce holiday stress & keep you motivated the next time.
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7. Be realistic to reduce holiday stress:
Keeping traditions & rituals alive is good. But try to focus on their meaning for you rather than fret about following them to the T. To avoid the stress of “this isn’t how I imagined things would be”, choose a few rituals most significant to you & let new family traditions be created.
Say yes only to things you really want to do. This will leave you space to schedule in things that just couldn’t be avoided.
Be realistic of what you expect from your family, friends, & other guests. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by expecting people to change their personality all of a sudden. Try to accept them as they are – loving& appreciative OR opinionated, embarrassing, & critical. There will always be a more appropriate time to confront or discuss.
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Take all the goof-ups, messes & hitches in your stride – they are what make memories memorable. If you always had everything go perfectly, it would be too picture-perfect to be special.
Find what usually triggers holiday stress for you. Be ready with a plan to handle them before they start ruining the day for you. Realize that you don’t need to please everybody.
Being prepared is the best answer. Make plans with the flexibility of adjusting to last
How do you stay on top of things & prepare for the holiday season? Please let us know in the comments below to ignite some ideas for others too : )
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My family and my boyfriend usually don’t celebrate festive or overly concentrate on them, so I hardly have to deal with stress. But this is definitely something some people have to deal with!
These are all great tips. i personally love the festive season that is coming up and all the prep that it takes to get ready for it. But i can see how it can be a trigger for anxiety, in adults and in kiddos too. great post.
I love this time of year! The fun that comes with it helps to keep it enjoyable!
Nice post and love reading your insight about it. I think planning is the most important part of it and to avoid anxiety and stress.
Planning is always the biggest key for me. If I take time to plan, I can tackle everything in the best way possible.
Really great suggestions. I love how you used a variety of tips. There is something for everyone!
Loved this post. It is like you are here with me and this stressful time.
Thanks Alejandra, glad to be of help.
I was in the shopping centre today and saw loads of gifts but made a note I would return. I probably will, on Christmas Eve in a panic.
haha…been there 🙂
My big takeaways from this are to have fun and exercise. I can’t believe it’s basically holiday time again. Time surely flies!
These are great tips, thanks for sharing! I think it’s important to stay grounded and level during a season like this.
Gifting is indeed tricky, and for me, it’s the most stressful activity during the holidays. I’ve already made my list as early as now and will be shopping for gifts next week because I try to avoid the Christmas rush as much as possible.
Wonderful…seems you have it well under control 🙂
Agree with all of these. Just plan everything as much as possible and then try and enjoy the experience 🙂
Yup, that’s it in a nutshell 🙂
What a great and important post. This is something that I really need. This could be a big help.
These are some great tips I hope to apply to my life. Meal planning always helps!
Yup, that’s a great time saver, isn’t it?
Some great tips here. The winter and holidays are tough with the shorter days and increased pressure. Thanks for this post.
Glad you like it Hannah 🙂
It definitely helps to block out time on your calendar to accomplish everything (gift wrapping, cleaning, cooking, etc) to make sure you give yourself ample time.
Isn’t it so? Because, taking care of ourselves is the first thing we push to the backburner when pressed for time
I absolutely love exercising to relieve stress. That’s why I try and do aerial silks twice a week!
Wow…aerial silks!!! I’m sure health & fitness wouldn’t be your concerns whether festive season or not 🙂
I have a medication called hyrdroxizine and it helps take the edge off any holiday festivities whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed.
Yes, the important thing is no matter how better we feel with all the help available around us, it’s never a good idea to change or go off medications without consulting our physician first
This post is packed with valuable advice, the holidays can be so difficult!
Thanks so much 🙂
These are great tips!
What an interesting and insightful post! I really enjoyed your perspective and look forward to reading more from you in the future!
Thanks so much Anna 🙂
Exercise is the best stress reliever I’ve discovered (next to wine)…. I make sure I get my daily workouts in every day. Great list, this!
hehe, right…Thanks Elizabeth 🙂
I love holidays and festive season, these are my favorite part of the year. i was unable to relate, but this would be definitely useful for those who face this.
They are my favourite too Monidipa, but sometimes ensuring they are fun for everyone in the family adds up to the alredy overflowing cup…getting organized & starting well in advance works best in such cases. Sounds like you have everything under control…great going
Mani/Pedis, tea and planning are what get me through the holidays. Oh yeah some whiskey and wine makes it work too!
hehe…that’s true 🙂
I let the stress get too deep into my head, and that makes me want to cry all the time. I know that I should start meditation and yoga, but I have been lacking the determination to start these effective remedies. Loved reading your post 🙂
I get you…meditation & yoga can be tough to begin with. Instead, try writing your thoughts down (whatever they are & in whatever random order they come into your head). This’ll take some of the stress away..you’ll be able to feel it. Take baby steps & try this first.
We also stress during the holidays, and exercise always helps us release some steam! Great tips.
Thanks Evelyn 🙂 …going out for a walk or stroll certainly works well
The holidays can be tough. Thanks for these great suggestions
Though it was a great read and amazing tips but during festivals my routine remain same. Work+home+blog+reading+sleep.