Most often than not, what makes a decision feel good or bad is how much we like the outcome. If we like it, no matter how double-minded we were about it at first, we think of it as a good decision. Making decisions without fear of regret later needs us to make choices with confidence… confident in it’s congruence with our values, not necessarily in what the outcome will be.
Step 1: Start making decisions without fear
And the first thing that goes into making decisions without fear of regret later making the right decision with confidence and clarity is having a 360-degree view of the situation.
It doesn’t mean collecting every-information-and-more about the situation but it means getting a clearer picture by differentiating the facts from how we feel about it, the options available from what other alternatives solutions are available, and then choosing what still feels right staying aware of the risks that might pop up.
This is based on Edward de Bono’s 6 thinking hats technique which is a very effective way to look at the different perspectives of any issue and make aware choices, the best possible decision.
This is a very effective tool to release fears around decisions because we are going in with our eyes wide open –
we know we are exploring every option that we are aware of right now, and
- also what the consequences might be if we follow this decision,
- and so, what’s our “if…then” plans would be… if this happens then we will do that.
Clarity about anything reduces the number of unknowns involved in that and since fear of any kind comes from the element of unknown, clarity gives us the confidence for making decisions without fear of regret later.
Step 2: Know for sure if you are making the right decision
But, how do you know the option that feels most right would still feel the same way if things don’t turn out how we or want them to?
That’s where knowing the qualities you value or admire come in handy.
“Values serve as a perceptual screen for the decision-maker, affecting both his awareness of the problematic state of a system and his screening of information relative to the problem.” – Lipham and Hoeh
Like, if we value courage, then choosing the riskier option would feel right and more satisfying even if it doesn’t get us what we want. Going with the safer option might bring us result, but there would still be an element of regret at the back of our mind… what more could we have achieved if we went with the riskier option?
The qualities that we admire, our values are really what make any decision feel right or not irrespective of what the outcome is. And that’s the one thing, that we need to keep in mind, if nothing else. It’s that important.
Knowing we are choosing options aligned with our values is how you feel better about making scary decisions.
3. Tame the biggest hurdle
But sometimes, knowing what’s the best option to choose… one that’s well thought-out and aligned with our qualities doesn’t mean we will be choosing that ultimately. Because there’s one more big thing that can and does stand in our way and hold us back. Watch the video up top to know how to overcome the one thing that usually holds us back from going ahead with a choice which we know is the best option.
