Whether we realize it or not, the beliefs we hold about us, other people, situations, environment, things in general… guide our every choice. And these can help us navigate life efficiently…or, they can make us miss out on some of the most promising possibilities in life. So, let’s see how to avoid these decision making traps and succeed beyond your self limiting beliefs.
3 Decision making mistakes - self limiting beliefs to look out for
We know something is good…but then we hold back either because there’s so much uncertainty around it or we feel “it’s good, but I don’t think I can pull it off”. And the decision we do go with, even though they might bring us what we wanted… leave us feeling like something’s missing. To feel truly satisfied with life, we need to start getting out of our own way.
1. Avoid subconscious mistakes
When making a decision, we like to go with the option that we know worked in the past, right? It’s like that solution has proven track record. And we do this because our brain likes to use mental shortcuts to make decisions or solve problems by using what worked in the past. It’s called heuristics.
“These rule-of-thumb strategies shorten decision-making time and allow people to function without constantly stopping to think about their next course of action” – Kendra Cherry, MS
And this is good because it makes us more efficient…frees up our mind more quickly to do other things.
But, there’s also a flip side to this. This is also the reason why we sometimes realize later that the small thing we missed was actually important enough to change everything. That’s how some of our most confident choices sometimes end up being one of those embarrassing mistakes…you know the times when it’s like “I don’t know how I missed that!”
What helps instead –
And the thing that really helps avoid these situations is, If the cost of error is going to be significant, avoid making snap decisions….. before acting on the first solution that pops into your head, take a pause.
Think it through a bit to come up with a couple more solutions. And if the initial one still feels good, then sure… go with it. But relying blindly on the first idea because you feel you know that’s what to do… can be a mistake.
That’s also how some of those self limiting beliefs that hold us back work. If we couldn’t do something in the past, like say, we couldn’t speak in front of a 1000 people, we instinctively discard the options that requires us to do that again. And that sounds logical, but it can make us miss some of the most promising opportunities in life. We have to decide whether it’s a price that we are willing to pay.
So, how do we stop holding ourselves back?
2. Self limiting beliefs holding you back
That needs us to know and to notice the moments when we like some option but feel kind of a resistance in our stomach… the idea feels tempting but then you get a, “I like it. But, I don’t think I’m this enough or that enough to pull it off.” And so we settle down for the next best thing.
And, sometimes, even the uncertainty around the choices make us uncomfortable and we step back into safety…into the known familiarity of the space created by our self limiting beliefs…. all those thoughts that justify our holding back.
What helps instead –
One way to side-step this trap and make more satisfying decisions is to
look out for the “only ifs” and “buts” when crossing out a good option. That’s where most of our limiting beliefs hide.
And get comfortable with uncertainty. We think it’s bad, but uncertainty is also what accompanies all those times when we feel proud of ourselves for doing something unexpected.
Think of all the choices that you had no way of knowing how they would work out, but they turned out just fine and created all those wonderful memories for you. That’s proof that the beliefs that guide our decisions, aren’t always true. And when we can see that, it’s easier to go beyond these unhelpful thoughts and make better decisions.
That’s really helpful, but it doesn’t cover those times when we give in to peer pressure or choose something just because “that’s how it has always been done.” How do we go past that?
3. No-regret decision making formula
“We humans are a social species, tribal by nature. ‘Belonging’, our capacity and need for empathy, compassion, and communication, is in our DNA.” – Saul Levine, MD
See, we have always survived better within a tribe… there’s more safety, security, and surety. And even though we like our alone time, isolation isn’t something we enjoy… no matter how much of an introvert we are.
And this means that… we may like to carve our own path, make choices that go against convention because we feel it’s the right one for us. But, we also naturally make conventional choices in other areas of our life.
The problem arises when we regret these decisions later… whether going with the usual choice or rebelling against it.
What helps instead –
To know the best way to prevent such a situation…to start making no-regret decisions, watch the video up top.
I hope you found this helpful.
