If you can’t stop overthinking something, use any of these simple techniques to stop things playing in a loop in your head. Whether worrying over something that’s yet to happen or, rehashing something that’s already happened, knowing how to step out of the worry loop is a life skill that can rewire our brain in a way that works more efficiently for us.
“There are times when the worry about the problem is a lot worse than the problem itself.”
– David Spiegel (director of the Center on Stress and Health at Stanford Health Care)
3 Effective techniques to stop overthinking and worrying
1. Cognitive reframing to stop catastrophizing
We like to think some things through mainly because of 2 reasons –
- Either because it makes us feel more prepared, more in control of situations.
- Or, because we want to find a meaning that would make more sense like, “why would he do that” or “why did she say that”.
But this becomes a problem when we focus more on what could go wrong, when we can’t stop overthinking…focusing more on the things we don’t have control over. And when you focus on the things you don’t want, a hundred and one possibilities pop up in our mind. Anxious overthinking has lots of ‘what ifs’. And so, it sends us into decision paralysis. We can’t decide which of the “what if” scenarios to tackle first and at a subconscious level, we become afraid to take action.
What to do instead –
Whether it’s the thing you want to avoid or the thing you dread might happen, overthinking always has some degree or kind of fear at the core of it. And so, to stop catastrophizing… worrying what all could go wrong, we use perceptual repositioning with cognitive reframing – looking at the situation in a way that makes us feel more in control.
1. Turn ‘why’s to ‘how’s –
Worrying unproductively or overthinking usually has a lot of why. Turn all these whys into hows instead. Like, instead of “why is this happening to me”, try asking “how can I make this work for me?” The whole perspective shifts from feeling powerlessness to a more empowered sense of control over the situation.
2. Look out for hyper adjectives –
like never and always. Sometimes, we say things like “this is the absolute worst”. Stop and ask yourself, “really, there’s nothing worse than this?” It won’t only disrupt the overthinking loop, but also help bring things to a more realistic level.
And for the times when we keep rehashing things that have already happened, when we can’t stop overthinking something from the past, the next one works really well.
2. Perceptual repositioning to stop rumination
Now, it’s not really easy to move on or get over things when you feel hurt, or betrayed, or snubbed. We simply can’t sometimes switch it off, stop it playing in a loop in our head, or we want to think it through from every angle trying to find some kind of meaning that would make some sense. Now, that’s totally normal with a lot of perfectly reasonable explanations behind it.
But it also hurts how we handle other problems or things happening right now. Obsessive thinking can create a mental rut, which makes it tough to come up with out of the box solutions in our life… solutions that help us manage situations effectively.
What to do instead –
What can help stop overthinking and worrying, is using the second position of perceptual repositioning. Here’s how it works.
See, situations do not have any emotional value except the ones we attach to them. Like, when we see something unfair happening, it can make us sad, make someone else feel angry, or leave another person totally unaffected by it, walking away as if nothing happened. The situation was the same, how we looked at it decided our reaction to it.
1. Change vantage point –
We usually take offence at what we assume the other person’s intentions are. So, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see if it could mean something else.
Like say, you said something to your friend. But now you can’t stop thinking how they reacted or what they might be thinking of you now. So, imagine yourself to be at the receiving end… as if you are that friend and some person like you said it to them. What else can you see about the situation now? What else might you be thinking?
2. Plan for action –
This will either diffuse the situation… showing that it wasn’t as drastic as we were catastrophizing. Or, show us some specific points that we can ask “can I do anything about it”. If yes, then “what”. Action is always the best antidote to stress and worry whether it’s physical action or action in the sense… a goal and a plan of action.
But sometimes we are so close to the situation, that it feels tough to see how it can mean anything else. That’s where the next technique comes in.
3. Third-party operator to stop overthinking
Because sometimes, it’s simply not possible to push all those negative thoughts out of our head. Our brain is wired to give more priority to the negatives… that’s part of our survival mechanism. And so, we go into ruminative brooding like, “everyone must be thinking I am such a fool”, or “why did they look at me when they said that”. And the more you think, the bleaker the thing looks.
What to do instead –
Watch the video up top to know how to use the third-party operator technique to step out of an overthinking loop. It’s simple but highly effective.
I hope you found this helpful.
