Thinking things through is good, that’s worrying productively but overthinking them not only makes us less productive, hurts our sleep and peace of mind, but also negatively affects how we experience life. And this 3-step roadmap that we are going to explore right now shows how to stop overthinking everything you say, do, or that happened to you.
How to stop overthinking everything
If we keep second-guessing our decisions, keep rehashing all those embarrassing moments, or can’t quieten the mind enough to fall asleep, then that means we are overthinking things.
Step 1: Know the difference - Harmful overthinking vs problem solving
The first thing is learning to notice
- when we are thinking towards something specific, thinking to find a solution and
- when we are just staying stuck in the what ifs, and only ifs…. that harmful overthinking, worrying unproductively.
Thinking the heck out of something can for some time make us feel like we know all the risks, everything that we might mess up and so can be ready for it. In a sense, it gives us a sense of control. But the more choices we have, the more confused we get. It’s called the paradox of choice.
Thinking things through the wrong way simply adds to our stress because it usually only highlights all that could go wrong….all the dreadful scenarios. This is because our brain senses the tension and does it best to keep us safe and surviving. That’s part of our brain’s negativity bias.
What helps instead –
The best way to notice when we are going about this thinking-things-through situation all wrong is
- when we are stuck in the what ifs or only ifs… “only if things were different”. We don’t have a clear idea about what specifically we would like to happen… what is it that we do want.
The second thing to look out for is what are we focusing on. Is it the things that we can control, or are we worrying about the things that we have no control over, like other people’s behavior, general socio-economic conditions, and such.
We only truly have control over what we do, think, and say. Nothing else. And so, we have to start getting comfortable with uncertainty…that’s how to stop overthinking everything… because when we are okay with uncertainty, we stop overanalyzing everything trying to be ready as much as we can and feel in control.
Step 2: Doing it the right way
Now that we can separate problem solving from our overthinking mode, it’s time to start doing it the right way – turning every overthinking loop into a problem-solving session.
When overthinking things that’ll happen in the future –
Here’s how I do it. Whenever I find myself getting lost in all the things that I don’t want, or why is this even happening to me, I just stop and switch intentionally to think about what I do want to happen. And so, how can I make that happen. What can I change to improve its chances of happening?
And when you get into the specifics, then a goal and an action plan starts to appear. Overthinking is kind of a never-ending loop… and this gives us a way to step out of that loop and move on with life.
When overthinking what happened in the past –
We also sometimes overanalyze things that have already happened… when we go “uggh, I should have said this instead”, or ”what did he mean when he said that” – always trying to read between the lines.
This needs work on our part on how much we care about what others think of us, how easily we take things to heart, and how much do we truly believe in our ability and capabilities. It needs us to have a healthy sense of self-esteem.
Step 3 of how to stop overthinking everything: Get better at quick and effective decision making
Now, sometimes, especially when making a big or a scary decision we keep second-guessing our choice, overanalyzing our decision. “What if I am missing out on something good?” or, “Shouldn’t I be trying out that one first?” … and we secretly wish “only if I knew how it was going to turn out.”
You see, most decisions feel definitely good or bad in hindsight, when we know what the outcome was…how much we liked what happened as a result of that choice. And since there’s no way to time-travel and know beforehand what the outcome is going to definitely be, we keep turning things in our head, overthinking things trying to analyze it as much as we can to have as much control as we can over what happens.
Watch the video up top to know the real reason behind this and how to stop overthinking everything, overthinking every decision.
I hope you found this helpful.
