How can you tell if you are just being cautious and thinking something through or really overthinking it? Because it’s not really about ‘how long’ we are mulling over something, but ‘how’ we are doing it. And while thinking through helps make more sense of things and tunes down that feeling of stress, overthinking does just the opposite. So, let’s see how to stop overthinking quickly and get on with life using some simple but powerful psychology-based ideas.
4-step action plan for how to stop overthinking
1. Know when
It is overthinking when you are more focused on all the things that could go wrong. As is rehashing things from the past focusing only on what went wrong. And there is nothing productive in all this… there’s no solution with overthinking.
But there is with problem-solving because it is more about looking for a solution than fixating on possible problems.
Signs of overthinking –
- Restless.
- Constantly feeling worried.
- Focusing on things outside our control.
- Second-guessing decisions.
- Trouble concentrating.
- Seeking repeated assurance.
- Mentally exhausted.
- Can’t stop thinking about it.
- Feeling on edge.
These show we are worrying the wrong way. So, the obvious thing to do here is contain the situation, right? Freeze it where it is so that we can start fixing the tools we use to approach the situation.
2. Stop it from spiraling
Overthinking is all about eliminating uncertainty from the future. But, with future there will always be an element of uncertainty when it comes to what might happen in the future because of all the things out of our control.
“Worry is all about trying to resolve and eliminate uncertainty about the future.”
– Dr. Michael Stein
(Clinical psychologist, founder of Anxiety Solutions)
Now, uncertainty is also seen as a survival threat by our brain. It doesn’t trust unknown things and so activates the stress mode.
So, ‘uncertainty’ essentially connects stress and overthinking together. And when in stress mode, our brain cuts access to the reasoning and problem-solving part of our brain leaving us with very limited tools to work with.
To get out of the stress mode we can either –
- distract ourselves doing something we like till the time we are ready to handle it more productively. Or,
- do something to activate our creative, problem-solving part of the brain so that the survival part is no longer in control.
How to do that –
A quick way how to stop overthinking, activate the problem-solving part is to follow every troubling thought with a ‘but’ and a positive thing. Like, “what if I mess this up, BUT I have also done things in my life without messing them up.”
It will get you to think actively, be creative to come up with an answer. And that shifts us to the pre-frontal cortex, problem-solving part of the brain, which now will work to show us the way out.
3. Make it manageable
Now that we are in the problem-solving mode, ask
- what’s the worst case scenario,
- and what’s the best that could happen (even if you are pretty sure that it might not happen), but
- what’s most likely to happen.
Due to our survival auto-settings and the filters in our brain through which we make sense of the world around us, we focus more on the negative points on anything than what might work, or what’s good. Because of this, it might be that what you think is most likely to happen is closer to your worst-case scenario.
Overthinking creates more stress by focusing on the negative, dwelling on the past and worrying about your future.
So, to stop catastrophizing and bring things back into perspective, cognitively reframe the situation.
1. Contrasting proof –
Find 2 examples when this hasn’t happened, even if in some other context.
2. Make the ‘evidence against’ count –
Put them together in a sentence ending with ‘and this might happen’. It is designed to bring things into a more balanced and realisticperspective. It makes the evidence against what we are worrying about, also count in how we think things might be.
4. The antidote - how to stop overthinking
Worrying and overthinking bring a sense of powerlessness, as if there’s nothing to be done. Watch the video up top to know what to do next to get that sense of control back.
Meet you right over there.
