Deciding not to quit is what really gets us results, gets us what we want in life, from life, and how we experience life. And the determination to keep moving, the mental strength to bounce back from stressful situations is what resilience essentially is.
And as that involves our thoughts, actions, and behaviors, resilience is something that we can learn and develop to manage our life better.
The 3 essential things to develop resilience
Working on this thoughts-actions-behavior idea that underpins resilience, let’s first begin with ‘thoughts’.
1. Thoughts - being mentally strong
How we think is how we feel. That’s what we can build our resilience on…taking a stressful situation, finding alternate ways of looking at it, and focusing on the one that helps take action. Because when we successfully push through that barrier, handle that stressful situation effectively, it boosts our sense of control and trains our mind to see similar situations in the future as being manageable.
And so even though it might bring up some tough emotions initially, it would be easier for us to recover, to bounce back and to move on with life.
So, the first thing that helps us develop resilience is being careful in how we think, what we choose to focus on – is it blame, wishing things were different, brooding over things that can’t be changed. Or, is it the things that we can control, we can change, actions that can help us better tackle the problem?
2. Actions to build resilience - adaptability
Think being flexible like a palm…adapting to changing wind helps it weather storms that uproots or breaks other bigger, stronger, but more rigid trees.
Three things here –
Staying open to the idea that change is a part of life. It isn’t always what we would like, but it happens. Storms happen, and so the palm tree bends rather than resists the changing wind conditions. Being open to the idea that life can be tough puts up less resistance in our mind and we are able to focus more on helpful things.
Keeping our focus on the things we can change. The palm tree doesn’t stop growing in stormy areas to avoid hurricanes, but grows deeper roots and different internal structure of the tree trunk. So, focusing more on the solution, a way out, a way forward rather than how it could have been different. Also, knowing when to ask for help – whether it’s friends, family, or professional guidance.
Choosing to be proactive. Giving ourself time to let the initial emotions play out, but then intentionally switching over to finding what action can be taken. If it feels overwhelming, focus on what you can directly impact, the smallest change that will help…and then build up from there.
3. Behavior - building mental toughness
Building resilience, building mental toughness is like building muscles in our body…the more you challenge it, work on it, the better you build the muscle. And to know how to do this effectively, watch the video up top to understand it better.
I hope you found this helpful.
