To become more resilient to change and the uncertainties in life, we need to improve our adversity quotient (AQ). Because that’s what helps us deal with stress better and build mental strength along the way. So, let’s unpack the simple daily habits, based on the science of resilience, that empowers us to handle change, challenges, and uncertainties better.
Simple daily habits to become more resilient
We all react differently to stressful situations because of 3 things. The genes we were born with, the experiences we have had, and the coping skills we learnt along the way like planning ahead or problem solving. Now, we may not be able to do anything about the first two, but we can definitely build good coping skills into our approach, we can become more resilient. And these 5 habits help us to do exactly that.
Habit 1: Snap out
See, resilience is our ability to stay calm when we have setbacks, in the face of distress or tough times. But, when we are in the middle of any tough situation, our brain automatically goes into the stress mode and it becomes physically impossible to think clearly. Because that’s the work of our prefrontal cortex which is shoved back as soon as the primitive brain takes over which handles stress.
And as we all know, we need to keep practicing on smaller things to get ready to deal with any big thing. So, to have all the tools ready to handle any tough situation, we have to keep practicing on the smaller stressors that are part of our everyday life. You know, the small things that make us angry, irritated, frustrated.
First step to become more resilient –
So, the first step, the first habit to become more resilient is to snap out of the stress mode before responding, reacting, or acting.
How to do it –
Complete this sentence for yourself before doing anything. “I am feeling angry/frustrated/irritated, but _____.” Because when we think to complete this sentence, it forces us to engage the prefrontal cortex of our brain which is the hub of all our thinking and reasoning. And that snaps us out of the stress mode because it disengages the primitive brain which was limiting our thinking capacity.
Habit 2: Reality check
The next step to handle any stressful situation is to do a reality check because it’s normal for us to catastrophize, think the worst would definitely happen. And everything that can go wrong is magnified and put into focus because our brain’s main aim is survival. So, it tries to scare us into stepping away from anything that stresses us out.
Second step –
So, the second habit to become more resilient is to do a reality check every time we think things are starting to spin out of control.
How to do it –
To find the true importance of whatever’s happening, use Forward pacing. Imagine your life, say 6 months from now. Is whatever’s stressing you today, still important for you now?
If it’s not, then you would know how much importance and time and energy you want to spend on it. But, if it’s still important say 6 months from now, try imaging your life a year, 2 years, or 5 years from now to check when it stops being important.
And if it doesn’t, then that means it’s something truly important and deserves your full attention.
Habit 3: Practice problem-solving to become more resilient
Hurdles, failures, and roadblocks are not the end of the road and they definitely do not define who we are or what we are capable of. And whether we think we can or we can’t, there’s always something we can do to change or influence whatever’s happening.
People who can solve problems more effeciently can control the situation and have a higher chance of success .
– Phoolka S., Kaur N. (Adversity quotient: a new paradigm in management to explore)
Third step –
That’s what the next habit to become more resilient is, looking at every failure or roadblock or impossibility as just another problem to be solved along the way. It’s about practicing and improving our problem-solving skill.
How to do it –
Get into a ‘how’ mindset using cognitive reframing. Change all the why’s into how’s. Instead of ‘why is this happening to me?’, ask ‘how can I make this work for me?’ Because, if you never stop… that’s resilience.
Habit 4: Optimize the environment
To make any habit stick, we need to optimize the environment, make it as easy as we possibly can to do it. Like, if you want to lose weight, you won’t want chips, cookies, and doughnuts lying around your home, would you? Instead, you would bring in healthy snacks and healthy food that don’t tempt you into overeating.
Fourth step –
And that’s the same with habits to become more resilient. We have to optimize the environment. Because research has shown that we are way more affected by our environment than we think we are whether in how it influences our sense of fashion, thinking, decisions, and even self-esteem. It’s called the Law of Averages.
How to do it –
Watch the video up top to know how to do this as part of your daily life and also to know the fifth and one of the most important habits to become more resilient.
See you there.
