The choices that we keep repeating over time become habits – things we don’t even usually notice doing. And they can make life simpler, but can also take it in a direction we have no wish of going. And so, to have more control… have a bigger say in what happens in our life, it’s good to stay aware of the habits that will ruin your life if you let them guide your choices.
5 Habits that will ruin your life
Sometimes, the choices we make can actually add more of that to our life, which we are trying to avoid, and we end up wondering “why is this even happening to me”. And the habits guiding these choices are –
1. Worrying the wrong way
Even though sometimes we can’t stop worrying, there’s a good way and an unhelpful way of doing it. Thinking about how things could have been different, spiraling down the hole of all that could go wrong is a habit that will ruin your life.
“One way to think about problematic worry is to realize that it is simply repetitive negative thinking about the future.”
– Dr. Robert Leahy, author of The Worry Cure
WHAT HELPS INSTEAD –
A more helpful way to worry is to go into it with an end goal in mind – what do we want, instead of what we don’t want. Because what don’t we want can be a very broad idea that doesn’t give us a clear idea of what we can do.
If worrying comes naturally to you, worry
- with an end goal. No open-ended musings about what might happen or what could have happened.
- Worry with your focus on what you would like to happen,
- so that it gives you an action plan to handle the situation more effectively.
2. Saying yes for the wrong reasons
Another one of the common habits that will ruin your life for sure is saying yes for the wrong reasons.
We think before saying no, but most often than not we say yes almost without thinking twice. I wouldn’t be paying attention, and would just say yes and then would have to turn back and ask, “what did I just say yes to?”
Saying yes feels easier than saying no because
- it makes us feel helpful,
- look agreeable, and
- it’s easier to say no later on over text with an excuse and an apology… “sorry, but don’t think would be able to make it, something important just popped up.”
But what we don’t always realize is that it can hurt how trustworthy people feel we are. Plus, it can also add so much unwanted stress to our life if we have said yes for the wrong reasons but feel anyways obliged to show up.
WHAT HELPS INSTEAD –
What helps instead, is to
- have our priorities clear in life, and
- stick to how much we can realistically fit in our day.
It can save so much of our time, money, energy, and mental peace if we say yes to things not because we feel that’s what we are supposed to do. But because, we have the time to do them and it’s actually something we really want to do, something that fits on our priority list.
3. Comparison is a habit that will ruin your life
It’s tough to stop doing, but comparing ourselves, our results, our lives with others is one of those habits that will ruin your life because of all the stress and demotivation it brings.
We might be working hard on something and then see someone who is leaps and bounds ahead of us, and we feel so far back that we start to lose heart, not feel like putting in the effort and our work starts to suffer. All the momentum is gone and we start to procrastinate… shifting things to tomorrow.
Just that one perfect life post on Instagram or a humblebragging post on some other social media platform can throw us off track if we use it to compare our life or our results to.
WHAT HELPS INSTEAD –
Either compare the right way. To know what’s possible for us in the future if we follow this same trajectory, and get ideas about what to do and what to avoid.
Or, compare but with ourself…where we were 6 months, 2 years, 5 years ago and where we are today. How much have we grown as a person, and what experience and insights we have gained. No one’s story can be the same, not even that of twins because there’s just so much that goes into guiding the choices we make… and they are as individual to us as we each one of us are.
4. Taking the wrong things personally
The next habit is more of a default mode that gives others power to control our strings. It’s the habit of taking things personally too quickly, too often. And even though it does stop people from being mean to us, it’s a life skill to know when it’s worth taking something personally and when it’s just a waste of time.
Being able to see what something is really about makes all the difference between being in control of how we respond and reacting emotionally…adding more stress to our life.
WHAT HELPS INSTEAD –
To know what helps instead, and also to see what the 5th sneaky habit is, watch the video up top.
Hope you found this helpful.
