The only way to build resilience, the thing at the core of almost every resilience building skill is focusing on the right thing. But what is the right thing? That’s exactly what we will be exploring today. Plus, a practical strategy to make doing it easy and a neuroscience-based tool to build resilience doing what we do every day.
3 Evidence-based ways to build resilience
1. What to focus on
What all situations that need us to be resilient have in common is that they stress us out to such a degree that we start feeling helpless. That’s why, building resilience means getting things in perspective faster so that we know what to do next, get back that sense of control.
A 2020 study A Translational Paradigm to Study the Effects of Uncontrollable Stress in Humans by Laura E Meine found that not being able to control the outcome affects how stressed we feel. It leads to passivity, a tendency to give up to circumstances, and repeated over time, results in a cycle of passivity and helplessness.
And knowing we can do something about it is important because how much in control we feel in any situation decides how much it can stress us out.
Focus on –
And so, the right thing to focus on to build resilience is whatever makes you feel in control.
“It’s really important that I learn for myself that although I don’t always have control over the stressor, I do have some control over my reaction to it.” – Dr. Michele Wessa
(Research Group Leader, Leibniz Institute for Resilience Research)
Even when we can’t control what’s happening, we are still in control of how we act, react, or respond, right? That’s a choice we always have. And that’s powerful because it lets us add our voice to the outcome, influence how things work out or at least how long they can keep us down.
2. Practical strategy to make it easier
The simplest way to stay in control is to get into the problem-solving mode because it works on so many different levels –
- minimize stress.
- helps find a way forward.
- And so, bounce back faster.
Strategy –
Step 1: Direction
The first thing is to make sure we work in the right direction. So, after letting the initial emotions of frustration, anger, and disappointment play out, ask, ‘What is my priority right now’? Like, is it finding what to do next, to move on, a better way of doing something, or is it minimizing whatever damage has been done?
Trying to answer this not only makes us think intentionally which snaps us out of the stress mode but also helps channel our thoughts towards finding solutions for something specific.
Step 2: Options
If finding out what can help… coming up with ideas of what can be done is proving to be a problem, identify who or where you are willing to take ideas and advice from. Knowing this helps because what ideas we are exposing ourselves to decides to a large degree how easy or not it would be to build resilience.
The MAO-A gene produces happiness eaters – MAO-A enzyme that breaks down serotonin and norepinephrine available in the synaptic clefts.
Dr. Katharina Domschke, Head of Psychiatry at the University of Freiburg found that negative life events were more likely to lead to the MAO-A being less methylated while positive life events were more likely to be associated with increased methylation, possibly indicating resilience.
Our genes in part decide how resilient we will be. But how big a part it would play is decided by the experiences and the environment we find ourselves in. And so, whatever options you come up with, focus on the ones which are within your control.
Step 3: Action plan
Reverse engineer whatever you have decided is going to help you. Like, “If I want this to happen, what needs to be in place, and so what needs to be in place for that?” Keep asking this till you reach the point where the next thing is to ask, “So what does that mean I need to do today”?
The answers will give you a step-by-step action plan to make what you want happen, starting with what needs to be done next.
3. Evidence-based tool to build resilience
This tool is based on the neuroscientific fact that the anterior mid-cingulate cortex is directly connected to tenacity and willpower. Watch the video up top to learn how to use this tool doing what you do every day.
Hope you found this useful.
