Worrying can be used to stay prepared and make us feel more in control of our present and the future. But the key is to focus our attention on the right things. Worrying can be good if done right.
To manage stress better and stop feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to stop worrying without a specific goal in mind, just letting our imagination run wild. Some simple tweaks in how we approach the situation, even in our mind, can make all the difference… bring confidence and peace of mind.
1. Worrying can be good with an end-goal in mind
According to researchers like Dr. David Hamilton, our brain can’t really differentiate between reality and something that only exists in our imagination. That’s why we wake up sweating & with a racing heart from nightmares.
So, worrying about what might happen in the future, letting the imagination run wild just generally thinking all that might happen … only makes us live through those difficult moments without any guarantee that these will ever really happen.
Worrying about the future can be good if we stop worrying aimlessly and actually have an end goal in mind… because that means we are focusing on one thing. And that becomes a sort of goal for which we can come up with an action plan. This helps us stay prepared, feeling more in control both of our present and future.
2. Focus on the right thing
There can be things out of our control that we can’t stop worrying about… like the P-word going on right now. Knowing we can’t directly do anything to stop it, doesn’t really stop us from worrying.
See, even when something is out of our control, there always are other related things that we can influence or change to make the final outcome be more in our favor. It’s like sending a rocket into space to deflect a meteorite from its path so that it doesn’t crash on earth.
Just like that, to stop worrying about things out of our control, we shift our focus to working on those things that will influence how the situation will affects us.
We are worrying, but about the right things, the right way… the productive way. We are essentially adding our voice to the outcome.
3. Worrying can be good if you make it count
We don’t just worry about the future, we think and fret about things that happened in the past, worry about how things looked when we did something, handled things a certain way and what that means for us in the present.
Say, for example, you agree to do something you didn’t like but later realize that it has become your ongoing responsibility. Now simply ruminating, regretting, and worrying about it won’t change things. What will make an effect though, is taking our lesson from it. Thinking about it with an intention to find a way up and out.
Like, making it a point to say yes carefully from now on. There’s a free worksheet for that, for learning the art of saying no, which you can use to find the right approach for you.
But the point is, thinking about what happened in the past is helpful when we do it with an aim to learn how not to have it repeated in the future.
Worrying can be good when it teaches us something. That’s what’s called experience – adding skills, not just years, to our life.
Worrying can be good or bad depending on how it’s done, like procrastinating. If we can get to what’s really making us push something to later, we can procrastinate intentionally to get back to work refreshed & recharged. It’s a good way to be self-compassionate & productive at the same time.